A Student of Sleep

Sometimes I think that it might be rough being the child of a social scientist.  Poor Declan is going to be stuck with my innate desire to "test" everything.  For instance, we've been working on his sleeping.  Of course, in our house this is a process.  First, research! Books, blogs, message boards, and personal stories all offer insights.  The internet is amazing since people are all very willing to give their personal advice/ opinions about EVERYTHING baby related (each person is a greater expert than the next....so judgy! haha).  Some of the books are no better- individuals with few credentials giving "expert" advice while sniping at the authors of other books and techniques.  But the question remains, "What should I do to help my baby sleep?" That question, however, leads to many comments and offers of advice but no real answers.  Thus, the experiment (with an n of 1) has begun. 

So our (I'm including Declan in the process even though he's clearly just along for the ride) experiment has begun with a step by step process of moving the baby from our room to his room and testing when the baby is really hungry and when he just wants comfort.  The final steps involve extinguishing non-necessary wake ups.  And there involves the tricky part and where research seems to fail and opinions run rampant.  If you let the baby cry, you are a HORRIBLE mother.  Your baby will grow up to distrust you and be distant since you have blatantly broken their trust in you.  Wow! Just a little bit of guilt there! The other side of the fence has you answering your baby's cries each and every time because a baby wouldn't cry unless they need you (or something).  Now you're a HORRIBLE mother if you aren't feeding, walking, shushing, placating your baby at all times.  While I agree that's a gross oversimplification of the schools of thought about baby care, the sense that you are always doing something wrong remains.  I mean, come on! I love my baby more than anything.  If my days were free and I could live my life without sleep, I would cater to his every whim.  Sadly, I am required to do things with my day that not only need my time but also a fair amount of cognitive processing (remember that pesky Ph.D.?).  Being brain dead from exhaustion does not really help me finish my degree.  Thus, the experiment.  I think that breaking down the process of sleeping in a step by step experiment allows me to remove some of the guilt associated with having to help my child sleep through the night that does not involve me getting up every 45 minutes.

Maybe Declan will let me know in 18 years if I totally messed him up (more than expected).  As a note to my sweet baby boy, you are sleeping peacefully in your swing right now as I try and test how many times you awaken during the night from the comfort of your swing (rather than the evil crib that you seem to dislike so much).  I apologize in advance if this scars you too badly.  Much love from your mom.